Officially halfway through the year, I realize I've been lost in the business of weddings, weight loss, self employment, and newlywed bliss - general Living 101. Sometimes it’s hard to make priorities, well, priorities. A dream I had the other morning made me realize just that:
I found my self selling ads for some publication. One day as I was sitting at my desk, I noticed an unsigned contract and I finally understood that it was my job to convince people to buy my company's product. I had not actually sold anything since I started. I just kept coming to work, looking busy and organizing my desk. After the realization, I sat at my desk freaking out because sales is precisely the one thing I always say I will never do. I would paint houses, become a zoo keeper, dredge lakes for dead bodies but never, NEVER, do sales. I looked at the cheesy sales guy across from me who was obviously really good at what he was doing. He looked at me and I knew he knew I just discovered what was going on. There I was - stuck. The only thing I could do was pick up the phone, call a client and get them to sign a deal with me. I had to convince them that I had what they needed. I had the strangest feeling that if I pushed myself over the hump of physically dialing the numbers, it would all work out. I would end up being one of the top sellers. I COULD do the job but I was too scared to start. Rather, I woke up instead.
Being self employed is one of my dreams. It has marinated while I grew professionally in a small business environment, then as I etched my way through corporate in house creative services, and finally as I got "called up to the show" as a corporate brand development designer for a landscape architecture firm downtown. Now, the time has come to give it the attention it deserves. I have taken it slow with the self employment factor as I gained up enough steam, confidence and connections to blow the lid off this dream. I like doing design and writing. It's a similar hybrid mentality a lot of designers and writers have. I see it when I go to freelancer meetings every month: seasoned entrepreneurs discuss client scenarios or business challenges they've dealt with and I find myself experiencing the same issues and thinking, "I get this!"
My career has arrived. I guess it has always been arriving but now I am opening up to the concept of taking myself seriously. I am picking up the phone and dialing the numbers; I am getting down to the business of being me.