I watched “Yes Man” last night. It’s a movie about a guy who thinks he is not good enough for anything or anyone so he finds himself avoiding life and friends all together. He goes to a seminar and commits to saying yes to anything anyone asks of him. It changes his whole attitude and he starts to enjoy his life. It’s an interesting concept and a message similar to the Secret. It’s an inspiring movie to watch. I thought since Jim Carey was in it, it would be more silly, but really it was heartbreaking at the beginning to watch him act so shut off to life and pretend nothing was affecting him. I can relate; I have lived like that for years. To see an entire movie about social coma makes me realize this is an epidemic many people are wrestling with; I am not alone.
The more I try to find inspiration and interest in my day to day activities, the more it seems I was dead in many ways. Really I became a whole other person: someone filled with a lot of negativity and cynicism. My character has become so apprehensive and scared to take action. I used to be more of a yes person than I am now because I didn’t know how to say no. I was raised to do without questioning, to acquiesce without a second thought. When I learned how to say "no", I went to the other end of the spectrum. Having that ability to choose was addicting. So addicting, I started to avoid everything. Slowly, I’m entering this new phase of life where I am balancing out the spectrum.
Now I'm choosing to be the person living life rather than the person judging life. I am becoming the person I would like to be rather than the person the I think the world thinks I am. The point of the movie was to start living life rather than fighting life. In the movie, the seminar presenter says, “Once you say yes to life, life says yes to you." I like that sentiment. I have been fighting my expectations about life for so long, it feels unreal to finally embrace what I am living. It is a retraining of sorts.