Saturday, August 28, 2010

LOVE > FEAR

I saw a LOVE>FEAR bumper sticker on a woman’s car one day when I was walking to work. There was something about this sticker that struck me right - so I got online and ordered two, one for me and one for a friend who needs some positive thoughts these days. It’s not like me to buy bumper stickers. Rather I collect ones people give me and keep them in my office so I can mull over those simple smug thoughts to myself. But this one just made me feel like I would be putting some good out in to the world - eventhough it's sitting on my desk.


In picking it apart, I realized I wanted to compartmentalize love and fear as opposites. It is not a Battle Royal of Love versus Fear. If it was, Fear of course probably would believe it can kick Love's arse; and Love would participate believing all would be right in the end. And neither one would be wrong because in those intrinsic forms, they would both need each other. I guess then, it's what side you choose to sit on. Love is not greater than fear but rather the much needed counterpart to "life" that provides perspective that might ease the whole experience.

It's from that vein of thinking that I choose love these days (as cheesy as it sounds). If I could package the concept, I believe it would be the new skinny, fountain-of-youth, lottery-winning elixir of the moment (and I wouldn't need this blog anymore to make all my money - wink). I think it would help all of us to to find peace in where we are at in our life.

The ironic thing is, fear has ruled my life. I've been stifled by how much I've come to understand that in the past year. I can’t even begin to explain how mousy it's made me (in an unmousy, more snotty sort of way). Perspective is everything. There are so many times when I'm caught in the moment knowingly wishing I could just let the fear subside. It’s silly but then again I've been bred to worry about the inevitable or make worry of what’s to come, even when it doesn't. Anticipation is king in my life and anything I can do to analyze the situation, I will. And when it does come, I find a way to muddle through.

In the end, doesn’t it always work out? Sure, it might not work out as planned or how you achingly wanted it to work out but in some strange way, it all makes sense somewhere down the line (maybe that’s the optimist in me). Life moves on, we age and forget pieces of our folly in youth, we get jobs and more responsibilities, we grow more friends and family, and we loose some too. And then we get to the end of the ride and hopefully it has been exhilarating - not without both sides of the coin but with both sides of the coin balancing out (and hopefully landing on heads more than tails).

Monday, August 23, 2010

Johnny's Garden

CSNY

D is a sucker for classic rock. It's one of the things that endeared me to him in the beginning (since he was trying to keep his Fleetwood Mac listening on the DL until I told him I love them). That endearment has morphed in to a somewhat repetitive, underwhelming experience as I wonder why he can't give, say, Indie more of chance?! But alas, it is part of who he is; and with that comes some "traditions" I have grown to love in the guy. For example, I really never listened to CSNY before dating him and now it will always be "D's" music with the songs reminding me of long drives to remote western slope locations in the Nissan or more familiar jaunts to the lovely escapes of Keystone and Carbondale. In any case, D always seems to play Johnny's Garden when he's coming in to his destination. I'm not sure if he even realizes he does it but it's a sign to me that we have almost arrived at pure escape and relaxation.


photo courtesy of Dean Espinosa

We've been escaping to "the country" the past few weekends. My mom has been kind enough to let us put the Swinger on her property for the summer. That alone has aided in the ease of "camping" since I can't seem to carry anything (not that D didn't do most of the prep work as it was). So 1.5 hours out of Denver, we can unlock the door, open the windows, unroll the awning, and make some dinner on a stove in a 70s RV. It's nothing fancy but it will do quite nicely for the time being. It's the first step in a process to get our own little piece of the mountains. We're "trying it on" so to speak and I must admit, it's quite a treat.


We've been up there a a handful of weekends. D getting it all situated (as per his normal Type-A routine). Then me coming up later to bask in the glory of his hard work. We had my mom up one weekend. It was the first time she had actually stayed on her property since since she convinced my dad to buy the land in 1972. At the time, she was 34 and I was no where to be imagined. Funny to think we are the same age in some strange time/space continum. 38 years later though, she got to really soak it in. Finally to escape to the escape she purchased so long ago. I guess it was a different time in so many ways. In any case, I think she took a lot of pride and ownership in the experience.


D does what he can to make this his "end of the world" escape, at least for the time being. It really is why he moved out to Denver in the first place (to live in the mtns). I usually sit in some camping chair trying my hand at watercolor or reading. Things move slowly and lazily and we take naps like it's required. Gingy does what she can to chase the prairie dogs or cook herself in the sun. We watch all the stars pop out at night and repeatedly D will stop and say, "Hold on. Do you hear that? It's the quiet I love the most." ("Yes, the silence is deafening." JK).


And I'll do anything I got to do
Cut my hair and shine my shoes
And keep on singin' the blues
If I can stay here in Johnny's garden

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Just the Tip...


JH forwarded me an e-mail with photos of Dalton Ghetti's artwork today. I was pretty inspired by his enthusiasm to create these works of art in a clearly unsaturated medium. Can you believe he never sells any of it, he only gives it away to friends (a true artist of sorts) - or displays it at the New Britain Museum of American Art. The exhibit? Meticulous Masterpieces. Meticulous for sure...for 25 years... when he finally settled on pencils rather than say broom sticks. Can you believe this guy doesn't even use a magnifying glass?! He does however yield a razor blade, sewing needle, and sculpting knife.

A carpenter by day, he does this in his spare time because it makes his heart happy. "I do it from my heart, I do it when I feel like - and I pretty much do it for myself," he said. "It's my own interest in the small things in life that drove me to call people's attention to them."


Wouldn't it be great if we all did something like this everyday? Just to make our heart happy.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Scribbles

I don't know how it happened but I got mugged today. I went into Scribbles, a stationary store on 15th Street, and walked out minus a good portion of $100. It's silly really; I just lost focus. I had no business being there in the first place. I forgot to kick the store in the balls and run for my life. Instead I got hypnotized by the luscious indents of letterpress and the hilariously cute one-liners of a good Mean Card. Oh how I miss card shopping, as one company marketed, "It's like candy for your pen."

In any case, I always want to pass along the yumminess. There are always old reliables, like Mean Cards:


And new friends like, Night Owl Paper Goods, who use eco-friendly sustainably harvested wood and make you feel like a piece of the 70s have been sent to you via envelope.


And I always forget and then re-recognize the upside down 7 and parenthesis mustache of Old Tom Foolery.

What joy in loosing all my hard earned clams.