Thursday, September 29, 2011


Blind Melon

I was craving this song all weekend. I think it was the colorful aspen leaves that made me focus on the word, "CHANGE", which is why I was trying to retrieve the tune in my head. For some reason though, I was thinking it was a Candlebox song and I couldn't quite match up the lyrics with the music in my memory. When we got back to Denver I anchored myself with a google search and in seconds retrieved the video. The song is sadder than I remember but still a great tune none-the-less.

I'm in the mood for some change myself. Vibrant fall colors make change seem inspired. I just dug through my closet and purged clothes to donate and switched out my summer wardrobe for winter wear. I like doing something physical to loosen things up; it makes me feel like I'm inspiring the more ethereal stuff to follow suit.

The universe might be sending messages to me as well. It's been a week of tripping over things, dropping a wooden puzzle on my foot, pinching my fingers - I just can't figure out why. Sometimes I think that is the universe's way of physically trying to connect me to the more ethereal stuff. My mantra lately has been "I'm listening" but if that was really the case I imagine I would be in less physical pain.

I’m trying to wrap my head around my philosophy on life. I’ve always wanted to live a comedy: to nicely wrap things up at the end of the day with a laugh and sigh a restful relief. However life is much messier than that and not so controllable. What we do defines us every day but I think it’s really not actually WHAT we do as much as HOW we do it. Life interjects itself on to the clean white possibility of our fate. We become soiled, used. Some embrace the change. Some lament the change. Some fall down and get back up again and again. But we all move through the cycle.

I imagine the leaves don't regret the loss of summer; they just naturally turn from green to lime to yellow to red. And then, they let go.

And oh as I fade away, they'll all look at me and say,
Hey look at him I'll never live that way
But that's ok their just afraid to change...

When life is hard you have to change

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