Sunday, October 27, 2013


It was this burning thing within me to have a birthday party for M. We went back and forth for weeks about it. We didn't want to frantically throw a party that would probably be kind of a flop and truth be told, we've been feeling beat down by the universe lately. When I finally tamed my mind about the whole thing and got down to the nuts and bolts of it, I asked miss m what she wanted for her birthday; to which she replied, "pink cupcakes." Done and done. We made these savory treats below for her to bring to school and two days later on her actual birthday, she was surprised anything was happening because we already had made (and ate) the cupcakes. 

Still I worked to make her day special. D was in town and she woke up to balloons greeting her at her bedroom door. Silly mom, that would have been enough. But I had to go and make breakfast fun, including pink marshmallow clouds like we talk about at night so that she dreams of something good not scary. 

Then shaping rose petals (from our garden) because I love giving people flowers. We went swimming after breakfast. Miss A even got in the pool and loved it. M was great and napped promptly once we arrived back home so she could wake up to the promise of a family party. Since she and little m are a year and two days apart as far as birthdays go (not as far as pink dress up dresses and crowns go), we celebrated both of them!

Another year has passed and I find myself shaking my head thinking, "it really does go so fast." I look at the girl in the photo below and I already see so much of her developed. We have conversations now, or forms of them, and I find myself thinking there is so much I need to remember to tell her so that some day she won't feel so alone as a person in this world. The other day she said something to me and I just looked at her thinking, I hope she doesn't make life hard on herself. That's how old she is getting. We have our tough moments but I wouldn't want it any other way. It lets me know she's thinking, she playing, and she's after life rather than fearful of it. We have our good moments too. I love how she makes me laugh, I love how she includes me in her life (like asking me to paint with her in her room), I love how she shows off (like by singing the ABCs while she swings really high). I love how we walk outside and and she yells, "Hi guys" to anyone she sees. Her heart is open and fearless and she shares it with me every day; for that I am beyond grateful. Every day of the past three years I have felt wholeheartedly happy that Miss M is in my life. There's not much else in this life I have embraced as unabashedly. Cheers to our time together little one, you are a jewel in my crown!

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