Did I mention I started dating again? Not in the traditional "girl meets boy" sense but more in the "girl gets job" sense. It's been a beast but it surely feels like dating on some level: I'll find something I think has a good possibility of turning into something substantial. I'll throw myself out there only to wait by the phone for a call. I'll put on my best clothes, present my best character, and try to convince someone that I am truly a hot ticket. Sounds like dating to me.
In fact I just made it through quite an inspiring process for a position I felt was a close to perfect for me. So much so, I thought the universe and I were getting back on track. Things were lining up, I was making plans for the future, and then, I got the call earlier this week that they went with the other candidate. It was heartbreaking to hear but not in the devastating sort of way first love is; I've been through enough "summer of loves" at this point. In hindsight, I can see the holes in the fabric and I realize this all sounds too emotional for a job hunt. Still it would have been nice to get picked; to have the confirmation/validation in my abilities and to carry the belief that life's magic is working it's way back into my realm. The hardest part about the news earlier this week was trying to figure out what that meant for me and the universe.
What's that they say, "fall down seven times, get up eight"? That is me these days. I thought the universe was setting me up for grandeur but it's pretty clear the universe still figures I have something to learn about resolve. I guess I do. Or maybe it doesn't have to do with the universe at all. However, this is the type of non-sensical thinking I adopt when trying to make sense of something I don't fully understand. So I'll get back up and go out there and find something else. Maybe my heart won't sing but I can hold it high with the firm belief that for one brief moment I gave it my best. Even if it wasn't good enough, that's good enough for me.