Friday, October 31, 2014

Deep Thoughts, Chapter 6

How about you buy rainbow cheerios?
They're called Fruit Loops.
How about you buy Fruit Loops? They're yummy and they remind me of rainbows.

If I knew you guys would have eaten eggs, we could have had breakfast for dinner.
Then we could have had lunch for lunch.

Can you make me an english muffin just like A's? With the peanut butter and jelly?
With the peanut butter? You sure? You don't usually like that; but it's good isn't it?
Yes it is good. I like that. Can you make me one more? But can you make it without the peanut butter... and the jelly? And can you put butter on it?
That's what I thought.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

The Scholarship

We met tonight, four years since my dad's death. It was more light, a moment I had been wanting to come to. Still there are days when I can't believe he's gone, or I wish I could hear his thoughts or look in to those eyes. The weight of his death has become familiar, though I'm still not happy to know it.

I was watching a movie last night, The Stories We Tell. It's Sarah Polley's attempt to unravel the truths behind the many lenses a story takes on when told by all the people affected. It's been on my watch list for a while and having time alone this week has made it the perfect choice. The story itself is heartbreaking and alive in so many ways. The documentary is okay but there is a moment at the end where she shoots each of the storytellers sitting with the reality of her mother's death. And in each face I recognized a familiarity: a silent knowing and a wordless pause that gives way to pain behind the eyes and deep-throated breaths followed by the stagnance only death can encompass.

We met tonight and there was little talk about the sadness behind the reason. The weather was rainy and fall was in the air. The place had a nice pub feel thought the 80's music was not setting the mood I anticipated. It was impossible not to be light with the music in the background. In fact we were quite funny about the whole thing. The only thing denying my perfect experience were the fruit flies. Still we sat talking about life and joking about things, as we always do, as we always will. Drinks in hand and wit flashing from our tongues.

Towards the end of the night a I decided to be brave and suggest my silly thought that came to mind on my way over in the car. It's versed in good tidings to a stranger and not really something my dad would do, though he probably bought his share of drinks in his day and would like the lightness of it. Nancy called it "the scholarship" and I thought it suiting for a nickname though not as intense or serious as that and possibly falling short of a true tribute a group of girls would want to send their loving father.

This idea is light in nature. It's about pushing a little positive in to some one's day, while breathing life in to the memory of our dad. For a moment, RAC's spirit could be at the bar while some lucky soul enjoyed a gin and tonic on his dime. My first attempt to describe this to the bartender was uncomfortable at best. That's why I prefer to write. I've got it down now: "With the cash we're giving you, we're remembering our father. Please tell the first person who orders a gin and tonic that Dick Cornish bought them a drink."

I left the bar soon after; I had to get home to the kids. On my way home I imagined years from now, when one day we might fall privy to the person at the bar getting the drink. I thought it might be fun to experience that moment. Nancy texted soon after I got home saying they met the guy who ordered the drink. She said it was a really cool experience. I have yet to hear the story but I like to think the world, for one more day, felt my dad's energy.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Giving Back

It was great to have miss M come with me to do Day of Service with Delta Dental. She wasn't the best helping hand but she provided the much needed charm and charisma only comedic relief can provide. It was a beautiful day and all our hard work was quite impressive, though the lesson might have gotten lost int he mix of mac and cheese and a cupcake at the end.


The Workout of a Parent with Two Small Kids

I envy adults with older kids. I know it sounds funny (and truth be told, I detest when someone says, "I'm jealous..."); but often I find myself longingly looking at them in the grocery stores or at the park or driving. Last week at the pier, a man waited while his son rode up on the jet ski to pull it out of the water. He caught my eye while he was waiting, he looked so relaxed. I could tell as he was watching his kid, he was also watching our scene.

Our scene included three young kids I was hoping wouldn't fall off the boat, D holding the boat to the pier while Phil ran to get the car and me, literally covered in pee because miss A had a swim diaper on (those things do NOTHING). I was headed straight for the car with her...and UBER-wet pants. The others would come in their own time. The man with the Jet Ski had long since idled off.

Lets be honest, they best thing to do is laugh. Small children naturally supply more physical humor because they're wholly unpredictable with their own bodies. Just the other day, Miss M was stuck in a shirt around her waist because she was curious about getting it on her body by stepping through the neck hole (I'm sure I've been there before). I can't tell you how many times miss A has stood up into the kitchen table.

Parenting little kids is like a workout regime of it's own, like Crossfit. It requires a constant commitment to not being committed to what you are doing at any given time so that you can sprint to catch whatever is about to hit the fan. This means the days are interval workouts of sitting down to dinner and popping up to catch a kid about to fall off the bench. It's dead weight lifts when they breakdown and flail backwards as you walk them to timeout. It's sprinting in the fun game of, "Come here." "You can't catch me!" Some days I do justify in my head that even if I didn't workout, I still worked out.

This is why I look longingly at parents of older kids. They have gotten they're real workout for the day, one they planned on a treadmill or a trail. They've had an entire meal sitting down and probably some time to check e-mail in front of a computer without some baby tugging at their leg. Sure I bet they're living some dramatic thriller with a horrid teen, but at least they can do it from the comfort of a lounge chair.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Say Cheese

Nevermind miss A's smoker's cough; she's starting to talk (term used loosely) and she starting to understand what we say to her - it's a pretty cool experience!