Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Workout of a Parent with Two Small Kids

I envy adults with older kids. I know it sounds funny (and truth be told, I detest when someone says, "I'm jealous..."); but often I find myself longingly looking at them in the grocery stores or at the park or driving. Last week at the pier, a man waited while his son rode up on the jet ski to pull it out of the water. He caught my eye while he was waiting, he looked so relaxed. I could tell as he was watching his kid, he was also watching our scene.

Our scene included three young kids I was hoping wouldn't fall off the boat, D holding the boat to the pier while Phil ran to get the car and me, literally covered in pee because miss A had a swim diaper on (those things do NOTHING). I was headed straight for the car with her...and UBER-wet pants. The others would come in their own time. The man with the Jet Ski had long since idled off.

Lets be honest, they best thing to do is laugh. Small children naturally supply more physical humor because they're wholly unpredictable with their own bodies. Just the other day, Miss M was stuck in a shirt around her waist because she was curious about getting it on her body by stepping through the neck hole (I'm sure I've been there before). I can't tell you how many times miss A has stood up into the kitchen table.

Parenting little kids is like a workout regime of it's own, like Crossfit. It requires a constant commitment to not being committed to what you are doing at any given time so that you can sprint to catch whatever is about to hit the fan. This means the days are interval workouts of sitting down to dinner and popping up to catch a kid about to fall off the bench. It's dead weight lifts when they breakdown and flail backwards as you walk them to timeout. It's sprinting in the fun game of, "Come here." "You can't catch me!" Some days I do justify in my head that even if I didn't workout, I still worked out.

This is why I look longingly at parents of older kids. They have gotten they're real workout for the day, one they planned on a treadmill or a trail. They've had an entire meal sitting down and probably some time to check e-mail in front of a computer without some baby tugging at their leg. Sure I bet they're living some dramatic thriller with a horrid teen, but at least they can do it from the comfort of a lounge chair.

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